The Ends Too Soon

He had his face buried in the soft green material, tears running down his cheeks as he tried to fight off the horrible cold. His head swam with memories and guilt so thick he expected it to smother his brain any second now. He hugged the small doll ever tighter like a life line leading back to the good 'ol days.

Rain pelted down against him and he pressed his back a little tighter against the back of the stage, wondering what the odds were that it would choose today of all days to rain. His blue hair stuck to his face as he tried to hide from the voice amplified through a microphone on stage.

"I.. I'm not sure what we are going to do now…. Things just aren't going to be the same…" Noodle's voice quivered and she hiccuped into the mic, letting out a choked sob as Russel's strong boom took over for her.

He didn't bother listening, knowing it would only hurt worse the more he thought about it. The wet, limp doll in his hands was crushed tightly against his cheek, soaked with a mixture of rain and tears with a few splatters of mud.

The singer had mud all over his pants, but he ignored it, finding his bitter sweet memories much more occupying. It was his fault. All his fault. If he hadn't been so stupid… so incredibly selfish, this wouldn't have happened.

*He felt warm arms wrap around his middle and he couldn't stop a huge grin. He turned to come face to face with a familiar set of mismatched eyes. The dented man snuggled into the other's grasp, nuzzling his nose and planting a light kiss on his lips.

"Yew know I love yew, dun'cha?" He said with a soft yet nervous smile.

"O' cou'se I do." The other replied with a chuckle, tightening his grip on the thin man's lower back and pressing their bodies a little closer together.*

He absently brushed a finger along his trembling lips, still able to feel the warmth of those heated, soft lips he was so familiar with. A heavy sigh mingled with a sob as the singer fought down the large lump in his throat.

Gently, he caressed the doll's face, straightening its soaked shirt and hair. A fresh batch of tears ran down his cheeks as he stared deep into the two different colored button eyes. He sniffed, rubbing at his black eye with the heel of his hand.

The guilt was slowly killing him, dragging him down deeper into the mud he was sitting in, sending chills right down to his bones. If he hadn't said anything then they wouldn't have… and if they hadn't then…

*The Satanist looked over at the other softly, running a finger down the side of his face and along his jaw line, stopping on the tip of his chin. It ran down his neck, trailing across a few dark hiccy marks along the base of the younger's neck.

"'at's gonna leave a ma'k." He mused with a dark chuckle.

"I dun' mind." The bluenette murmured, laying an arm across his chest and pressing himself against the bassist's side.*

Even now, nearly a week later, the marks stood out like new on his pale skin. He heard Russel say something quietly into the mic and a moment later he could hear the crowd starting to dissipate.

Two pairs of feet he could hear above the rest, one light and the other heavy, both coming towards the back of the stage. He tipped his head further, letting his wet bangs hide his face from the world.

Noodle was sobbing quietly into her hands, stumbling about as she struggled to get to the Geep without falling in the mud. Russel was close behind her, probably helping her to stay on her feet. After he escorted her to the Geep he turned towards the mourning singer.

"Yo, 'D, he's, ya know, still out there if you wanted to go say anything.." The drummer offered, getting no response from the hunched over man. He sighed, shaking his head and going back over to the car.

Over his choked sobs and the rain he could hear the car start and slowly pull towards him. "C'mon, man. It's getting late." Russel called from the driver's seat, leaning out the window and offering a hand to the singer.

Stu shook his head, not bothering to look up from the small cloth figure in his hands. Russel and Noodle muttered back and forth for a moment before Russ spoke again. "So you comin or not?"

He didn't answer, just shifted a little in his muddy spot on the ground. The Geep sat there a moment longer before giving a moan of protest and rolling away, leaving him alone. 2D sat there for a length of time he wasn't quite sure of, letting himself be lost in his self-loathing.

*"So is 'is yea' finally my yea'?" The blue-headed singer asked with a large, giddy smile on his face.

Noodle giggled, patting him on the head. "I suppose this year is your year, 2D-kun." She nodded and he hugged her tightly.

"Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes YES!" He cheered, lifting her from the ground and swinging her around.

She held onto his shoulders, laughing as they turned quickly and danced around the room. He had been waiting to be 'ok'ed for nearly five years and Noodle finally decided he was alright to go through with it.*

"'is yea'… it was finally goin' ta be my bloody yea'…" He muttered bitterly, dragging himself to his feet, bracing himself against the wall. His feet felt like cement as he made his way to the front of the stage, one hand braced against the wall and the other still clutching the doll.

The walk which should have taken two minutes tops seemed to drag on forever as the singer trudged around to the front. Tears and rain blurred his vision as he stumbled across the stage, coming to stop while looming over a large box.

He shook his head, staring down at the lifeless Satanist that layed in the coffin, eyes closed and face in one of the most peaceful expressions he'd ever seen. He was dressed in his precious cape, an expensive grey sweater and black jeans.

"Yew 'ad ta die 'is yea', didn' yew..?" 2D whispered, dropping to his knees beside the coffin with the small look-alike hugged to his chest. He kissed it lightly on forehead, Leaning over the edge of the wooden box and pressing his wet, trembling lips to Murdoc's cold, lifeless ones.

Sitting back with a sad, heart shattering smile he set the doll gently on the Satanist's chest. "'appy bi'fday Muds. I made it special fo' yew, but seein as yew a'en't comin' to you' pa'ty.." His throat closed up as he talked, a large lump forming in it.

He shook his head sadly, brushing Murdoc's wet bangs out of his face. "Yew always knew jus' wot ta do ta 'wuin me day, didn' yew? Heh, looks like yew've done it once again, mate. 'cou'se 'is time yew aint comin ta rub it in me face, a'e yew?"

Chuckling dryly, 2D sat down on the edge of the stage, his legs over the edge with his back pressed against the side of the coffin. "Afte' all those yea's I finally was aloud ta 'f'row yew a pa'ty and yew'e gonna choose 'is yea' of all yea's ta die jus' b'fo'e you' bi'fday? Figu'es.."

The rain began to slant as a wind rushed past, sending chills down his spine. "Jus' fink about it, 'wight now we could be back at tha Winnie, a few White Lights 'n fags, 'avin a good ol' time. Maybe when we go home…" He trailed off, squeezing his eyes closed and letting his head thump against the coffin.

*2D sat on the bed in the Winnie, toasting a beer with Murdoc and laughing. Things had been going great lately, Muds had cut waaaay back on the violence, his migrains had all but dissapeared and they were closer now than ever.

"Chee's to anothe' g'eat yea'!" 2D cheered, toasting his beer a bit too hard and getting showered in White Light. He just continued laughing, especially when Murdoc licked a few drops off of his jaw and planting an acohol tasting kiss on his lower lip.*

Without thinking, 2D let his tongue run across his bottom lip as though expecting to taste the alcohol again. He sighed sadly, only being greeted with the salt from his own tears. Lightning flashed across the sky, making the singer flinch back slightly.

"'at's pro'lly yew, yellin at me fo' bein such a gi'ly bloke, yeah? 'ho woulda fought afte' all those yea's of sayin I was goin ta be tha death of yew and then…" He trailed off, choking on his words as memories of the day before flashed through his mind.

*2D smiled, being tightly embraced by his best mate as they stood out in Kong's 'front yard'. It was already getting late and they were planning on going in in just a few minutes, the singer wanting to stay out as long as he could.

"Can't wait 'til tomorr'a!" 2D pressed his forehead against Murdoc's, grinning brightly. He was planning a surprise party for the Satanist and was hoping dearly to please him.

"I can. I feel sa old. I mean 42?" Murdoc muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Aw, c'mon! The'e's still stuff ta look fo'wa'd to!"

"Like wot?"

"Celeb'wating." 2D offered, flushing when Murdoc got that certain glint in his eye and gave his arse a suggestive squeeze.

"I suppose 'at makes up fo' it.." He sighed, shrugging with fake disappointment.

2D pouted lightly, leaning down and kissing him. Murdoc chewed on his bottom lip, leaving small puncture wounds that he quickly ran his tongue over, licking up the small amount of blood.*

The singer was lost in the memory, leaning forward blankly and expecting for his lips to meet another warm pair.

*Through half-lidded eyes he saw something beyond the Satanist moving in the dark but ignored it, thinking it was nothing more than just another zombie lumbering about aimlessly. The kiss was deepened and he quickly forgot about it.

They were pressed together snuggly when suddenly everything in 2D's word came to a crashing halt.

BAM!

The singer shrieked, getting splattered with something warm and wet. He heard sick laughter, then someone yelling, "fucking homo deserved it!" It took him a moment to register what was said and it wasn't until Murdoc crumpled to the ground that he fully processed what happened.

He wiped at his face, smearing the crimson blood across his cheeks. Tears streaked down his cheeks as he dropped down beside the bassist, hugging him tightly to his chest. There was a hole going in his back, nearly coming out the front and going straight through his heart.

2D shook his head and blubbered out intelligible things as he tried to sooth the cringing man. "Muds? J-Ju's stay wif me 'n we-we'll get yew some help, o-ok? Then t-t'morrow we can ce-eleb'wate yer bi'fday and have a g-ggod time, ok? Jus' dun… dun leave me… please…I love yew…" He whimpered, nuzzling his nose into the limp Murdoc's neck.*

He was brought back to his senses by a loud boom of thunder, finding himself huddled up with his arms still in the motion of smoothing back the man's hair and hugging him tightly against his chest. He shook his head, sobbing.

The lanky man pulled himself up to the edge of the coffin again, looking down at the lifeless man and equally lifeless doll lying on his chest. It looked just like him, only smaller and in some aspects cuter. 2D gave it a bitter smile and shook his head again.

It'd taken him all week to finish and now that he was the singer felt overjoyed and more excited about the surprise party then he already had. 2D'd been thinking about what to make his lover for his birthday and the idea of a look-alike doll came to mind.

He'd immediately gone out to Essex, bought some cloth, buttons, needles and thread and hurried home, closing himself in his room. It'd taken him a week, multiple restarts and more stabs with a needle then he could count before he came up with the perfect little Mudsy.

Glancing at the clock he realized it was nearly four in the morning. With a yawn and sudden wave of sleepiness he curled up with the doll and fell asleep.

"I was so 'appy when I finished 'at bloody doll cause I was so su'e yew we'e gonna like it, but I guess I'm neve' goin ta get ta w'eally give it to yew, will I? Well, whe'e eve' yew a'e, I 'ope yew get 'is 'n I 'ope yew like it…" 2D whispered, idlely playing with Murdoc's hair.

"Mmm… I wonde'…" The last comment, 'where ever you are', had an obvious answer.

Hell.

It wasn't an insult, but a fact. 2D himself had been there once or twice with the Satanist and had to admit, it wasn't as horrible as everyone made it out to be. Sure, every once in a while they'd get a real screamer, but more often then not it was pretty calm.

Then it occurred to him. There was a portal to Hell in the basement of Kong. Murdoc was in Hell. All he had to do was get home, go down to the portal and find Muds. The singer leapt to his feet, grinning down at the cold body brightly.

It was a rather disturbing sight as tears were still running down his cheeks, and that coupled with the huge, child-like grin created an all around off feeling. He reached down, brushing the black fringed bangs from the green face, giving it a soft kiss before grabbing the doll and quickly hurrying off the stage.

The crew was supposed to be returning in an hour or so to take him away, so 2D didn't bother with cleaning up or anything. He ran through the rain, letting it slap his face as he rushed up the street in the direction of Kong.

xXxXx

Noodle sat near the front doors of Kong, crying her little eyes out while Russel tried his best to comfort her. She was secretly expecting the bassist and singer to come walking in the door any minute now, flirting or perhaps kissing like they normally did, though deep down she knew it could never happen.

When the door did, at last, open, she looked up hopefully, her heart in her throat. Instead of a happy couple, in charged a soaked, panting 2D who looked like death warmed over.

"T-2D-kun? A-are you ok?" She asked gently, standing up wobbily and making her way over to the trembling man. He gave her a tight hug, kissing her cheek, patting her head and hurrying out of the room.

She shared an odd look with Russel, both lost and wondering what was going on with the suddenly rushing singer. "Uhm…" Noodle considered following him, but the aching in her chest was too great and she found herself again being engulfed by Russel's large arms.

When the lift finally opened in the basement 2D hurried out, going straight to the room with the Hell Hole. He stood outside the door, a knot in his stomach and a lump in his throat. His wet, shaking hand stopped on the doorknob and his hope and excitement welled up in him.

He threw the door open with a huge smile, taking a large step into the room. He opened his eyes, glancing around the room. His heart dropped, taking him with it. He fell to his knees, staring up with already teary eyes at the nearly empty room. There was but a small note on the floor.

Dear Whomever This May Concern,

Seeing as I now have Mr. Murdoc Niccals with me permanently, I saw no point in leaving the portal here. He was, after all, one of the only ones that used it.

Oh well, it's not like any of you apes would mind.

Anyway, Just letting you losers know the portal is gone and it ain't coming back.

Ciao,

Satan

2D let the paper drift to the floor where it burst into flames, quickly fading away to nothing more than a small bit of ash and a burn mark on the floor. He felt his chest become painfully hallow, making him curl into a ball around the small doll.

"Yew did 'is on pu'pose, didn' yew, Mu'doc? Yew always pull shit like 'is! Yew draw me in, make me love yew, even let yew shag me all yew want 'n then wot do yew do? Go 'n leave me all by myself! Wot the 'ell yew expectin me ta do? Do yew know 'ow much 'at hu'ts?" He cried, slamming his fist down on the ground next to him.

Tears ran down his cheeks as he fought to get control over his ragged breathing. Did Murdoc do this to him on purpose? He always seemed to have the best timing when it comes to things like this, albeit smaller consequences.

"'n ta fink, afte' all those yea's yew wait till we finally sta't somfing, then yew go 'n die… I jus'… I jus' dun' even know anymo'e…" He whimpered, chewing on his bottom lip as he fought to stand up.

After a moment of struggling he allowed himself to just lay there on the floor, wallowing in his growing self-loathing and anger. Wot was he supposed to do now? Ever since he'd woken up in the parkinglot with blood running down his cheeks and glass shards around him from the windshield, he'd formed an immediate bond with the older.

From then on he went everywhere with Murdoc, from finding somewhere to do their first gig to into the bowls of the Winnie. Never had he questioned the other's leadership, that was until now.

He reached out with a shaky hand and drew the small doll closer to his chest, curling up in a ball around it. In his back pocket he felt a stiff pressure and idely felt it. It was one of the many guns he'd been forced to carry around Kong with him for self-defense. Pulling it out and running his black eyes across it, a finger on the triger as he examined the shiny silver object.

Placing the barrel against the small doll's chest, he made a 'pow' noise with his mouth. Slowly, he blinked then looked over the firearm again. Pressing the cold metal to his temple toughtfully, he began to talk in a hoarse voice to himself.

"Is 'is 'wreally wot i's come to? Is 'is 'wreally wot I get fo' fallin in love? Mum always told me love was trouble, but.." He coughed into his arm, staring dully at the miniature Murdoc. "S'ppose she was 'wright. Wonde' 'ow they'e goin ta tell he'?"

He could imagine it pretty vivdly. The phone rings and Rachel innocently answers it, smiling when she hears her son's name. Then the rest of the message follows and her smile shatters into a heart broken sob. David, trying his best, can't console the weeping woman.

The gun clicked and 2D closed his eyes, swallowing thickly. "Hope they go a lil easie' on he'.. eh, guess it won' 'wreally matte'. Well, g'bye wo'ld. 'n Muds," he kissed the doll's forehead, "I love yeh 'n I always will.

BANG!

"Russel-sama, what was that?" Noodle shrieked, snuggling further into the large man's grasp.

He knitted his brows then narrowed his eyes. Sighing deeply, he tightened his grip on the sobbing girl and shook his head. "Oh 'D, I know you didn't just..." He met to only think this, but Noodle quickly caught on and her small body quickly began to rack with even more sobs.

Russel shook his head and gathered the axe princess in his thick arms, slowly takin gher back to her room. He told her to try and calm down a bit while he handled some 'business'. She knew what he was talking about, only making her feel worse.

His head exploded with an unbarable pain and inescapeable darkness. It lasted for but a second until Stu felt delightfully light and airy. The air around him thickened and gradually warmed until it was a comfortable heat radiating from the void that surrounded him.

2D's feet touched a ground he was unable to see and he immediatly started walking forward, not sure of what was happening but not really caring. All he knew was that deep down he had a yearning to move forward. His footsteps echoed loudly and all at once he found himself on a large, onyx walkway with fire on either edge.

This looked familiar. He looked back and forth as he continued forward, flames licking at at his feet as the path became increasingly narrow. He knitted his brows and squinted ahead of him, trying to make out what he was approaching.

Suddenly he felt something in his hand, his gaze lowering to his hand as he realized what the soft object was. A small green doll with mizmatched button eyes. Tears sprung to his eyes as the memories of what'd happened. "Mu'doc.."

Something pulled his head up and his eyes landed on a figure standing a few feet away, a bloody hole in their back and messy black hair. His throat closed up as he choked out a few pitiful squeaks and sobs. The figure turned and looked over their shoulder, a familiar jagged-toothed grin spreading across his face as he opened his arms wide.

Stu stumbled forward, tears running down his cheeks as he flew into his lover's waiting arms. Their lips met and almost immediatly his world seemed to straighten itself out. After a moment he broke away and held the small doll up tentatively.

"Wot's 'is, 'en?" Muds raised a brow, keeping his grip on the younger as the singer held up the doll.

"I-ah made it f-fo' you' b-b-bi'fday." He squeaked, unable to hold back the creeping sobs as he buried his face in Murdoc's neck.

"Oh c'mon, 'D, stop yer cryin. Yew'e with me now." Muds raised his chin gently, kissing him softly and smiling.

"B-but yew l-lu-left me 'n I l-love yew s-sa much!" He whimpered, nuzzling the other affectionately.

Murdoc's smile softened as he rested his forehead against Stu's. "Hey, 'D?"

"W-" sniff, "wot?"

"Wake up."

"Wot?"

"'D, wake up!"

He jolted, his watery dark eyes shooting up to the drummer sitting in the driver's side of the geep, watching him expectantly. "You comin' or not?"

2D's mouth hung open as tears flowed down his cheeks. His grip on the doll that was sitting in the mud beside him tightened as he choked down a body-racking sob. His huge black eyes drilled brokenly into Russel's white ones as he struggled to form a sentence.

"...n...no.." Was the only thing he was able to utter before he was again lost in his horrible pit of self-loathing.